It started in my teens. Never popular at school, never really having a talent and just wanting to be accepted. After years of teasing for wearing glasses and weight issues I guess its bound to happen. I often worried I wasn't interesting and people wouldn't want to be around me or be friends. I always seemed to end up doing things I wasn't 100% interested in becasue it would make me more interesting and 'accepted'. I always had to have the latest style or trends in hair and clothes. Always had to appear like I was trendy rather than just accepting myself. This crept into many other things over the years.
Gaming is a perfect example. I bought a PS3 just to have something to talk about. Bought games such as Assassins Creed, Grand Theft Auto, Call of Duty and Driver. Even tho I only enjoyed playing FIFA. Pointless. It started to happen too with film and music. I'd spend ours trawling interviews, reviews or seeing what people were watching, listening to or liking on Facebook. Listening to playlists with a million different artists and only ever hearing the same songs over and over again. Watching film and TV programmes I wasn't that intereted in, but hoped would give me someting to talk about when I me up with friends or new people. What a waste of time. I can't believe it has taken me all this time of wasted moments to finally learn this: BE YOURSELF.
I have just discovered the joys of several things in the past few days. Countless hours wasted by not listening to music I have downloaded, instead wasting time on what I thought was cool and popular. How many times I've played the same playlists over and over again, skipping songs and always wondering what is better or what I am missing out on. Turns out I'm missing out on lots. I've just discovered the beauty of Billy Bragg and Wilco - Mermaid Avenue 1 & 2, despite having it on my phone for 3 years. The amount of times I've skipped these songs and albums because no one I know listened to it is unbelieveable. I've dicovered the joy of Parks and Recreation, despite only knowing one person who has seen it. Why have I wasted time watching Game of Thrones when I could have been enjoying the ways of Ron Swanson?
This all hit home after spending a very enjoyable few hours with a friend over lunch, sipping coffee and playing late 70's/early 80's arcade classics. This friend has developed a love of a French football team. So much so that he travels for 72 hours on coaches to see them, stays with strangers and has made friends that many wouldnt have the courage to do. Now if this was me, this would have worried me in the past. I would be worried what people think, and that I was boring or weird. Let me tell you this; there is nothing more interesting than listening to tales that I know nothing about. Tales of journeys, new friends and experiences. So a big thank you to my friend. Reassuring me and opening my eyes to what life is about. He has inspired me to be myself, not worry about fitting in. Maybe this is one of the reasosn I have decided to write a blog?
I've always been interested in photography, especially using an iPhone, but never had any idea where to start, offten wondering why my photos were rubbish. An hour later reading other blogs and tips and I was inspired. Suppose I was always worried it would make me boring. However, I had a thoroughly enjoyable morning just wandering around and snapping away yards from my doorstep, although I've never really appreciated where I lived.
After all what is it that makes life and people interesting? Individuality. An enjoyable morning spent. Hopefully iPhotography is just the beginning on my journey of discovery. I know when my knee is 100% better I will be back running, not for weight loss like before, but just pure satisfaction of doing something for myself, something where I can just run, think and enjoy the views.
Wish me luck.
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